Watching the World Die
by MelanyeBaggins
Summary: AU. Anakin makes a choice that leads he and Padme down uncharted paths, and away from the burden of history.
1. Chapter 1

Watching the World Die

We can live beside the ocean  
Leave the fire behind  
Swim out past the breakers  
And watch the world die

Santa Monica

-Everclear

It all happened in an instant. It's one of those moments of decision that, while you don't even realize it at the moment, can change your entire life. In the space between one second to the next, you could be on top of the world, or in the depths of hell.

Anakin Skywalker faced such a decision. He chose badly, and the entire universe suffered. But suppose, perhaps, somewhere, in another place, in another time, he _didn't_ choose badly. Perhaps, somewhere, he made the right choice. Maybe somewhere right now, he is alive, and happy.

"I'm…Annie, I'm _pregnant_."

For an instant, he didn't think he had heard her properly. Then all at once, he felt his heart begin to speed up, and his hands go numb and start to shake, as a wellspring of joy deep within the very core of his being suddenly exploded.

A baby… 

"That is…" he tried to speak, and found that his tongue had gone numb and useless. He lowered his head, catching her hands in his and holding them clasped together between them almost in prayer. "…_wonderful_…Padme, that's _wonderful _news!" And then his lips were on hers, and any reply she might have had was washed away in the torrent of her husband's love crashing against the shores in her heart.

What was she about to say? Something about their baby being dangerous…but how could that be, when they loved each other so much? How could anything that felt this good be so bad? And then as he broke away, and he spoke, she remembered painfully exactly why that was.

"Padme," he said, cupping her face gently in his palms. "I love you. I…" he sighed. "I know what this could mean for us, and I know you're scared." She nodded, but he tilted her head back to look in his eyes. "I'm going to leave the Order." In the shocked silence that followed, all she could hear were three heartbeats.

"Wh- what? Annie, n-"

"I had already made up my mind before we landed," he gently cut her off, "I want to be with you, Padme, and I can't do that as a Jedi."

"But being a Jedi was your _dream_, your _life_!"

"None of that matters now," he whispered, his warm breath caressing her mouth in an almost kiss. "I have you, and our child." Padme couldn't respond. She hung her head and he hugged her to him, his strong arms encircling her, comforting her with their warmth. "All I want is for us to be together," he continued, and she pressed herself closer to him, listening to the soothing rumbling in his chest as he spoke. "I've already made arrangements," he continued, "we'll move out to the Rim where no one will find us. We'll raise our baby in peace, no Jedi to lecture us, no HoloNet to bother us. Just you, me and our child. That's all I've ever wanted." She wriggled out of his embrace to look up at him.

"What about Obi-Wan?" she wondered. Only at this did she see fleeting sadness on his face.

"I'll deal with Obi-Wan."

Anakin strode confidently through the halls of the Jedi Temple, his cloak making it appear as if he floated on air. It was a sham, of course, for inside his heart was swirling with a tumult of conflicting emotions, and it took all of his self-restraint to hold it back.

He was going to the Council.

The next time he walked down this hallway, he would no longer be a Jedi.

He was scared to death.

The lift arrived and he stepped in, grateful for the long ride to the top so he could center himself with some meditation. His heart and mind being the jumble of thoughts and feelings that they were, he didn't even see Obi-Wan standing next to him until the elder Jedi spoke.

"You know you're a wreck," he murmured. Anakin nearly jumped three feet in the air at the sound.

"Master!" he cried, clutching at his poor heart. Obi-Wan smiled.

"I have asked you repeatedly to call me 'Obi-Wan'," he replied. "What's troubling you, Old Friend? I was told you requested an audience with the Council." Anakin turned away, hoping his friend would not notice the tears prickling his eyes. He nodded, and swallowed several times. "What is it?" he asked, placing a warm and loving hand on his former student's tense shoulder.

"Obi-Wan," his voice cracked as the doors opened to the outer chamber, "I'm going to miss you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:**

"This is a very disturbing development, Knight Skywalker," the always cool and even tone of Mace Windu filled the Council Chamber. Yoda was leaning on the head of his gimmer stick, deep in thought, and Obi-Wan –

Obi-Wan hadn't even seemed surprised.

"We must know, of course, the reason for your…decision," Ki-Adi Mundi drew his attention. Anakin, arms folded before him comfortably, and eyes bright, scanned the faces of the assembled members. After a deep centering breath, he finally revealed his secret.

"I have broken my vow to the Order, Masters," he began, without even a hint of regret in his voice. The knight radiated confidence. The Council members exchanged glances.

"To which vow are you referring?" Mace asked smoothly.

"The vow of celibacy, Master." Mace took the news graciously, as if not fully understanding the transgression. Anakin found himself wondering at that. "And the renouncement of possessions," he added, almost as an afterthought.

"And what possession do you own?" Ki-Adi Mundi asked. Anakin swallowed, feeling the familiar flutter of scared-excitement in his stomach. He met the master's eyes and held them steadily.

"My wife, master."

A hush fell over the already quiet room, as if his words were a black hole that hullified all other sounds, even the soft hum of power coursing through the chamber's walls. Obi-Wan shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Yoda nodded slightly and cupped his chin with his small hand.

"Senator Amidala," Mace said the name as if it were already obvious to everyone in the room. And perhaps it was. Nevertheless, a small spike of surprised fright stabbed into the core of Anakin's heart at the admission. _'They know now,'_ he thought, _'there's no taking it back now.'_ But he calmed himself with the thought that, no matter what, he would leave this room a free man. After all, what could they do, _expel_ him? Growing bolder with this certainty, he added joyfully, "we have been married for three years." _'Finally, I can declare my love openly!'_

"Retire she must, if revealed your secret is," Yoda finally spoke. Of all of the masters, it was he who seemed the least surprised. Anakin suspected that the diminutive master had known all along.

"We understand this, Master,"

"Understand?" Yoda's voice sharpened, and then at once he was twelve years old again, and he had just 'accidentally' smashed the Master's hoverchair. "At war, we are! _Untimely_ this is!" He winced.

"With all due respect, Master Yoda," he defended, "this is my decision."

"Yes," Yoda said solemnly, and Anakin knew he had been trapped. "A decision that, if the Chosen One you are, effect the entire galaxy it may." Anakin had prepared another defense, but instead thought better of it.

"If I were to stay," he said instead, choosing his words carefully, "would the Council be prepared to accept my marriage without contest?" Obi-Wan looked to the other masters with interest, wondering as much as Anakin what their response would be. They seemed to be communicating with each other through the Force, and reaching an answer, Mace turned back to Anakin.

"Yes." Such a simple word, yet so full of meaning. Anakin's first thought was of how happy this would make Padme. His rejoicing was diminished, however, as Mace began to add the 'conditions' of this arrangement. "We would be willing to overlook this…transgression…until the war is over. You would have minimal contact with your wife for the remainder of the conflict, and would be answerable to us once either a cease-fire or victory is declared." Obi-Wan looked sharply to Anakin, noting the deep lines that had marred the boy's forehead.

"That…" he seemed more than speechless, "that is _unacceptable_!" His voice seemed to deepen, become older. "I came before you to ask for release from my vows to the Order, and you in turn attempt to pile more of them onto my shoulders? How can you do this? He looked hard into Mace's eyes, as if it were he alone, and not the Council as a whole, who had made this decision. "I will _not_ be separated from my wife for another _day_. Not now…" If Master Windu had eyebrows, he would have raised one of them.

"Has something changed?" he asked curiously. Anakin nodded, joy breaking out onto his face like sunshine.

"We are expecting our first child," he declared. No, he _proclaimed_. Obi-Wan again shifted in his seat as the other Masters exchanged yet more glances. Anakin fancied that the hand Obi-Wan raised to his bearded chin was meant to hide the happy smile he knew was somewhere under that beard. '_He knew…_'

"Disturbing, this is," Yoda drew back his attention. "Complicates mattes, it does."

"I understand that, Master."

"Understand?" he repeated harshly. "Understand you do _not!_ If understand you did, a wife you would have not! A _child_ you would have _not_!" He finished this last statement with a pounding of his gimmer stick on the marble floor. Anakin bowed to hide the sadness etching his handsome face.

"Then I have no other choice," he reluctantly concluded. Standing at his full height, he addressed the Council formally, being sharply reminded of the day he was Knighted. "I, Anakin Skywalker, do hereby officially renounce my vows of fealty and service to the Jedi Order." He paused thoughtfully, and then continued. "My wife and I will retire to the Mid-Rim to raise our family in peace. The Lost Twenty has now become the Lost Twenty-One."

A silence fell over the council, deeper than before; It was almost mournful. The others watched him intently, as if he may suddenly take back his words and re-pledge himself to serve the Republic. Finally, the time for repentance lapsed.

"So be it," said Mace.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three 

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan ran to catch up with his former student as he headed back towards the lift. He turned as Obi-Wan approached, his face the picture of happiness. He had never seen him so radiant

"Obi-Wan," he greeted. Something had changed, he thought. His voice seemed lighter, his posture more comfortable. It was as if a great burden had been thrown off his shoulders and he could finally walk upright again. The last time he had seen that look, Gui-Gon was introducing them on the floor of the Nubian Cruiser.

"Anakin," he repeated. He took his friend by the shoulders, and for a minute felt a lecture about 'duty' and 'obligation' coming on. Then all at once, he decided that none of it mattered anymore. The rules no longer applied to him. Perhaps, they never did. Without another thought or word he pulled his former student into an embrace, one that was happily returned.

"I hope you will understand that I am both happy and grieved at this news, Senator," The Queen's exotic accent filtered into the room.

"When can a replacement be sent to Coruscant?" Padme asked, idly rubbing her stomach with one hand. Free of her usual ornate senatorial garb in favor of a light yet highly flattering dress, she found that she finally felt like 'Padme Skywalker' rather than 'Senator Amidala'.

"I believe your replacement is already with you," the Queen replied with a hint of a grin on her flawless powder-white features. "Your handmaid, Dorme, has requested the position."

"Dorme?" she echoed in amazement, "I…I had no idea she had serious interest in politics!" The Queen favored her with a smile.

"She has been studying Political Science while attending to you on Coruscant. I am sure she will make a fine replacement although, no match for yourself of course. Naboo will not only be loosing her greatest Senator, but the senate and even the galaxy will be diminished by your absence."

"Thank you, Majesty." With a nod and a farewell, the screen went dark.

"Today is just full of surprises," Anakin's voice startled her. She turned to see his smiling face as he leaned nonchalantly against her doorframe, watching his wife lovingly.

"Anakin!" she gasped, hand flying to her heart, "I didn't hear you come in." He walked over to her and gathered her into his arms, kissing her deeply. They took their time, leisurely and thoroughly experiencing every taste and texture of the other's mouth. "Mmmmm…" she sighed happily. "I could get used to this." He caressed her cheek lightly with the back of his gloved hand, burying the other in her loose dark hair.

"Now you can," he murmured. "I'm free, Padme, free to love you without fear. As of two hours ago, I am no longer a Jedi."

"Oh, Anakin," she raised her arms to circle his neck, cupping his face with one palm. "That must have been terrible for you." He slid his hand of flesh up her bare arm until he took her hand in his and kissed it.

"I've never felt so free in my life," he said honestly. She smiled and kissed him sweetly.

"I have been freed of my duties as well," she said. "We can leave whenever we're ready." She paused, and caught his eyes to judge his reaction to her next question. "How did Obi-Wan take it?" He smiled, a truly happy smile.

"He couldn't be happier," he declared. "He said he wants to see us before we go, that he has something he wants to give us." They stood smiling at each other for another minute, and then she sighed, burying her face in his chest.

"Oh, Annie," she exclaimed, "I've dreamed of this every day since we married! It's hard to believe it's really happening, we're finally starting our life together!"

"I love you, Padme." They kissed, a simple pledge of their love that had survived despite the odds against them.

Three days later, all but a few personal items were packed and ready. The Queen had given Padme her Nubian Cruiser as a belated wedding gift, and Captain Typho and Dorme had bought them one of the latest speeders, large enough for a family. Padme had been speechless.

Anakin, settling into civilian life quite nicely, had spent the past few days buying himself a wardrobe and a few items he had always wanted, but had been forbidden to him as a Jedi. Not having any money, he traded his skills as a mechanic for his items.

"I'm telling you, Padme," he explained excitedly as styra-plast chips began spilling on the floor from the box of his latest 'toy'. "Ten years from now, everyone in the galaxy will own one of these!" Padme shook her head, confused.

"It's a holo-projector," she pointed out. He paused, but his excitement didn't waver.

"But that's just it, it's not _just_ a holo-projector," he continued, showing her all the new features on the attractively sleek box in front of him. She laughed despite herself.

Her husband, the big kid.

But then, he certainly didn't _look_ like a kid – not in _those_ clothes.

She had loved Anakin's Jedi robes, thinking they only served to enhance his natural beauty, for he _was_ beautiful to her. The clothes he had come home in the other night, however, in her humble opinion, made him look downright _sexy_.

"Anakin, love," she broke into his gushing tirade about the details of his 'baby'. "I can't even program the holo-recorder." He looked up long enough to comment.

"That's because you never sit long enough to let me teach you," he pointed the remote at her as he spoke. She grinned.

"Well, if your explanations didn't leave me _dizzy_…" she began, only to be interrupted by the chirping of the comm unit behind her. Anakin was on his feet an over to the wall with all the enthusiasm of a boy half his age.

"Obi-Wan!" he greeted before the image of his former master even appeared on the monitor. "I've been trying to reach you all morning," he complained.

"I had business," he explained, "you know how it is." Anakin nodded, mentally going through all the possible duties he would have been engaging in. "How are you doing? I see you've wasted no time in replacing your Jedi robes with something a little more…"

"Flattering?" Anakin suggested playfully.

"Informal," Obi-Wan finished with a smile. "So what did you want to talk with me about?" Anakin paused, realizing for the first time that he and his master were loosing their connection – they were no longer bound as brothers by the order, now they were just…_friends._ "Anakin?" Obi-Wan prompted, ripping him from his train of thought.

"Sorry, Mas-" there was a slightly uncomfortable pause until Anakin amended himself, "Obi-Wan." After a pause, one that acknowledged all the things they both knew yet left unsaid, he continued. "Padme and I wanted to invite you for dinner." Obi-Wan's face lit up.

"I'd love to!" They agreed upon a time and bid farewell. Anakin noted painfully, that he no longer wished the Force to be with him.

"Looks like I have a lot of cooking to do," Padme commented. Anakin clapped his wife on the back.

"No need, my love," he said, "tonight, _I'll_ do the cooking!" With that he left to plan out their dinner, leaving a somewhat worried looking Padme behind.

"Have you ever cooked before, Anakin?" she called after him.

"Aw, come on," he called back, "how hard can it be?"


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Thank you for all the reviews! I don't have time to answer you individually, but know that I read and am thankful for each one! I honestly didn't think this fic would go this far, but knowing how well it has been recieved, I must continue :) (that, and the muse wouldn't leave me alone)

I apologise in advance for the tone of this chapter, much different than the last one. As a rule, I want this to be a light fic, but events of ROTS have to be dealt with and all that. Maybe two chapters from now it will lighten a bit, I promise!

**Chapter Four**

Obi-Wan Kenobi had always considered himself to be a tolerant man. It was a part of the training – Jedi are expected to be able to handle all sorts of situations. One never knows when they will find themselves across a negotiation table with beings whose hygienic practices conflict with your own, or whose force auras radiate a 'bad smell' that causes you to want to cringe in disgust. Always you must remain placid. A Jedi is always calm.

Obi-Wan had been in several such situations throughout his years as a Jedi. He liked to think that he was good at tolerating almost anything he may find even vaguely offensive.

Anakin's cooking, on the other hand…

"Anakin," he moaned, when at last he could stand his polite pretense no longer. "This food is…" he stopped, seeing his friend's hopeful gaze leveled at him. _Damn_. "Not bad for a first attempt," he finished diplomatically. Anakin broke into a light, tension-banishing laugh.

"It's crap," he admitted, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. Obi-Wan saw Padmé gratefully push away her plate. Anakin glanced lovingly at her. "Even my wife and unborn child detest my cooking," he chuckled.

"Now Annie," she chided, "detest is such a _strong_ word."

"Dislike?" Obi-Wan offered. At Anakin's chuckle, the others felt free to do so also. "You know, I was invited for _dinner_," he hinted, but Anakin had his hands up in defense.

"Don't worry," he said, "I ordered in." Obi-Wan chuckled and pointed his fork at his former student.

"You'll pay for this," he warned.  
"Hey, just testing your finely honed diplomacy skills, my friend!"

While waiting on the servers to bring the dessert course, there was an almost uncomfortable silence. All three knew what the others were thinking, but that no one wanted to be the one to bring it up. Finally, Anakin couldn't stand it anymore.

"Obi-Wan," he began with a seriousness that gave the Jedi pause, "you never told me _your_ opinion on my decision." The older man dropped his napkin to his lap and sighed. Padmé glanced nervously between them, sensing tension as thick as the fog on Naboo.

"I..." the Jedi began, and Anakin knew he was twisting his napkin below the table. "I am very proud of you," he continued carefully. "Not many would have the courage to stand up to a room full of Masters like you did." Anakin frowned in disapproval.

"_Obi-Wan_," he insisted. "What do you _really_ think?" Another uneasy sigh escaped the older man's lips.

"Perhaps, Padmé, you should give us some tim-"

"I don't keep secrets from my wife, Obi-Wan," Anakin's voice was bordering on hostile. "I want to hear what you have to say, and I want to hear it now." Obi-Wan, realizing he had no other choice, dropped his napkin – quite crumpled from nervousness – on his plate and leaned forward.

"Alright, here it is," he said. Anakin sat back, prepared for whatever his mentor would say. He fully expected him to blast him with anger and outrage at being abandoned. He was not disappointed. "I am angry, Anakin. Angry and hurt.

"You came into the Order at a young age; granted not as young as most, but young nonetheless. You pledged yourself to service, even _fought_ for your right to be trained, and yet now you abandon it for," he glanced at Padmé as if unsure if she would be hurt by his words "for a _woman_," he finished. "For your own _pleasure_, not caring about whatever destiny you may be set aside for. For Force sake, Anakin, you are supposed to be _The Chosen One_!"

Anakin sat and listened to all of it. He felt through the Force the hurt and confusion of his former master, and grieved that he had to injure him so. He felt tears prickle his eyes, but would not allow them to grow. He had _asked_ for this. He wanted nothing but truth between them. Everything out in the open. And here it was.

"I am sorry I have hurt you," he said quietly. "I am very sorry. But Obi-Wan," he paused to lean over the table and look directly into the other man's eyes. "Master," he amended, "even Master Yoda admitted that the Council does not know what the Prophecy means. How do we know my leaving the Order was not 'predestined' for me? How do we even know I am supposed to _be_ a Jedi?" Obi-Wan shook his head at this, but Anakin wasn't finished. "I know you are disappointed in me," he said, "but I also know you are happy for me – for _us_." He paused for a second, and then his voice changed to one of righteous indignation. "This is _right_," he finished, pounding his durasteel fist on the table, causing the silverware to clatter. Obi-Wan sighed again, bowing his head, unable to meet the steady blue gaze across from him.

"You are right, of course," he said softly, "but it's…it's not easy to _accept_ that someone you've trained and worked and fought with for so many years has _given up_."

"But I haven't given up, Master," Anakin, no longer keeping up the pretense of being something other than his _student_. Even after he was knighted, he still felt like a Padewan, always learning, always…

"Anakin," Obi-Wan interjected, "you've left in the middle of a _war_. If that isn't giving up…"

"But you don't understand," Anakin defended, "I _feel_ it, I _feel_ somewhere within me that if I don't leave now, terrible things could result. This _is_ the best choice, Obi-Wan, for all of us." Obi-Wan caught Anakin's eyes flicker to his wife's distended abdomen with the words. Suddenly, remembering something he thought he'd forgotten, he jumped up from the table.

"Which brings me to another reason for my visit," he explained as he went to retrieve the curious box he had arrived with, eager to change the subject. He handed it to Anakin with all the pride of a father seeing off his only son to school for the first day. "For the baby," he said. Anakin looked at the gift with a smile, wondering at the fact that he would even _give_ him something. A Jedi, who was supposed to have no possessions of his own, giving one to another.

He couldn't help it – he shook it.

"Just open it, Annie!" Padmé insisted with barely reigned in excitement. With a low chuckle, he unhooked the closure on the wooden box and lifted the lid. Inside, the box was lined with a soft material that cradled the smooth silver ball nestled within. Anakin knew what it was immediately, but Padmé had no idea.

"It's a Training Sphere," he exclaimed. Obi-Wan crossed his arms before him proudly. Anakin looked up to his wife and explained. "It is a toy given to young children to train them to use the Force. I was given one, but I figured it out within an hour," he chuckled, almost embarrassed.

"This tool is usually given to toddlers," Obi-Wan explained, "the fact that you beat it so quickly only means you were too advanced." Anakin looked up at his mentor.

"Does this mean our baby…" he trailed off, weighing the sphere in his hands.

"There is a ninety percent chance that your offspring will be strong in the Force," Obi-Wan confirmed. "Seventy percent that the child will have a connection almost as strong as yours." Padmé and Anakin exclaimed looks of both joy and fear.

"Obi-Wan," he asked, genuine fear in his voice, "will the council attempt to take our child and train him?" Obi-Wan sighed, truly feeling for the new parents. Pressing his lips into a grim line, he looked hard, first at Padmé, then at Anakin.

"Not if I can help it."


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Thank you again for all the reviews! Your words of praise and encouragement keep me writing! love

* * *

**Chapter Five**

'_Breathing's a burden we all have to bear,_

_and trust is one thing we're taught never to share,_

_somehow you just seem to shine,_

_when lovin' means breaking and sayin' goodbye,'_

_'Wonder'_ - Megan McCauley

"Ah, Anakin, come in, come in my friend!"

Anakin had debated whether or not to see the Chancellor before he left, but ultimately decided that he could not leave without saying goodbye to his old friend. Entering his chambers felt like coming home in a way. As one of his earliest memories of Coruscant, the room and its aged occupant made him feel safe, loved.

"Chancellor," he greeted warmly, "I apologize for coming unannounced." Palpatine waved his hand dismissively.

"Nonsense, my boy, you are always welcome." He pulled up the chair behind his desk and motioned for Anakin to do the same. "So tell me, what brings you to my door? I feel…a great change around you."

"Yes, Your Excellency," Anakin could not hide the smile his next words brought to his face. "I have left the Order. Padmé and I are moving away to start our life together." Palpatine's face dropped, seemed almost to age as he watched.

"Leaving?" His voice dropped an octave, eyes growing almost cold. Anakin thought he'd hurt him somehow with the admission. "Wh-where would you go? I need you here!"

"Please, sir," Anakin tried to calm the man who seemed positively shaken by this new development. "We need some time away – from all of _this_, the politics, the war…"

"But you must understand that you are _needed_, Anakin," his mentor entreated. "How am I to deal with the Jedi if you aren't among them? How are they to be controlled?"

"Controlled?" Puzzled, Anakin could not understand what the other man could mean.

"The Jedi are out of control, Anakin," Palpatine rose to stand in front of the panoramic window behind his desk. "I had decided to appoint you to the Council to keep an eye on them, but now that you are leaving…" Anakin stood, a little shaky.

"The Council? Me?" Palpatine turned with the look of a father whose son just asked a silly question.

"Anakin," his voice returned to kind and fatherly. "Surely you of all people must have sensed the ever growing corruption within the Council as of late. Why else would you have felt it necessary to leave them?" Anakin was about to speak, to stand up for his friends, but the Chancellor raised a hand. "You may think that it is for you and Padmé, to raise your baby in peace," he rounded his desk to stand before the boy, sympathy on his old and tired features. "But we both know that is not the only reason." Anakin stepped back a pace, thinking over all his recent encounters with Jedi, judging them, weighing their actions against his own morals. He couldn't find the voice to answer.

"Anakin," the Chancellor went on, brushing past the boy as if he weren't engaged in a fierce inner struggle against what he knew and what he _felt_. "If you were to stay here, on Coruscant, I could put you in a position of such power," he stopped to look over his shoulder at him, "that the Jedi Council would take their orders from _you_."

Fear. That was it – it was _fear_ he felt. Fear and discomfort. Since when were the lights in the room so bright?

"Chancellor, I-"

"Anakin, stay here with me, please," the old man came to stand before him, practically begging Anakin not to leave him. "I don't know what I would do without you. You are my most trusted friend." Anakin bowed his head. He could feel the desperation radiating from the man before him like a choking cloud, threatening to engulf him, drag him down. He had to step back.

"I am sorry, Chancellor," he croaked. "My wife and I are leaving, and we aren't coming back." He turned to walk out the door, and so did not see the slight sneer that dirtied the face of the man he had loved for over twelve years.

"Did you tell them about Dooku?" his smooth diplomatic voice caressed his ears like a cold, infectious breeze, seeping into him and anchoring him in place. He turned, fighting with all he was to keep from shaking. "With you gone, I might feel compelled to come forth with new information. The council must know what kind of person they are letting go free."

The numbness started really, in the pit of his stomach. Then slowly, yet at the same time as swift as the rush of his own blood in his veins, it spread. Making its way down his legs to buckle his knees, and up through his abdomen to constrict his breathing and make his head spin. Somehow, through all of this, he remained standing.

"What did you say?" he wanted to demand this of the other man standing across the room from him, but it came out rather as a choked whisper. "You, whom I've trusted most of all…how could you-"

"I do not wish to betray a confidence, Anakin," the Chancellor's smooth, silky voice floated like a balm to sooth his fear and confusion. "I am simply letting you know what may happen in the event of your absence. You must understand that I only want what's best for the Republic." He began to slowly pace. "If you were to stay, however," he went on reasonably, "I would have no need for such measures. It is because you are _here_ that this information can stay between us, but," he paused and leaned in closer to the former Jedi, as if to tell a secret, "If you were to leave now, those still loyal to Dooku could hunt you down for their own revenge. It is for your own _protection_ that the Council be made aware, at least of where you are going.

"You must also think of what your wife would think if she heard what you've done - you told me of her reaction to your outburst on Tattouine, how much worse would this be to her? To your child? Could you put them in that kind of danger? Could you live with yourself if you did?"

Anakin shook his head in disbelief, all his dreams of freedom and solitude with his family crumbling before him and falling through his fingers like so much sand.

"If you would at least tell me where you are going, then perhaps informing the Council would be unnecessary. As long as you are protected – I can rest easy."

Before he knew what he was doing, Anakin nodded. "I –" he hesitated, "I would have to discuss all of this with Padmé first. No one was supposed to know."

"You're right, of course. You should discuss this with her, but do not take long, we don't know who might be watching." Anakin nodded again, mutely, heading for the door away from this office and its stifling air and too-bright lights. He wanted nothing more than to get out into the fresh air and just breathe.

Palpatine followed him to the door, patting the young man reassuringly on the back, quietly and unnoticed by Anakin, placing a homing beacon in between the weave of his shirt. "Don't worry, my boy," he said, "soon all will be set right."


	6. Chapter 6

_AN: Thank you thank you for all the reviews! You guys are the best! I'm so happy about how well recieved this fic is! I hope my 'vision' for the future of this story meets your expectations._

**Chapter Six **

'_I've seen tonight what I've been warned about,_

_I'm gonna leave tonight before I change my mind,_

_I've seen tonight how I could waste my time,_

I'm gonna be on my way and I won't be back again' 

-_'See You When You're 40_', Dido

The conversation with Padmé had been a short one.

"Padmé," he sat her down on the sofa as he sat next to her, their four hands clasped in her lap. "I have to tell you something. Something terrible that I've done." He looked up at her, cold worry churning in his stomach and causing the light in his eyes to dim. "Something that may put us in danger if certain people were to find out. Something that, once said, may cause you to stop loving me."

"Anakin…" her voice was so soft, so innocent. She has no idea what kind of person he really is, his feelings told him. "Anakin, I love you. No matter what you have to say, I will always love you." He bowed his head, clutching her two small hands tighter, almost painfully, as he attempted to control himself. Padmé unlaced one of her hands and buried it into his soft hair, making him look at her, wiping away a tear with her thumb. "What is it, my love? What is it that hurts you this much?" He took a breath that sounded more like a hiss of pain, releasing it in a great shuddering sigh.

"I…I killed Count Dooku," he said finally.

"But Anakin, we already know you defeated him. You're a war hero."

"No, I'm a war criminal!" he countered, anger and regret coloring his words. He stood. "He was ready to be imprisoned for his crimes. I had won the battle and disarmed him. He was helpless." Padmé sat in stunned silence behind him. He couldn't bear to turn to look at her, to see whatever expression she may have on her perfect face. "And I killed him anyway," he finished.

The silence in the room was thick and heavy. It weighed him down until he felt tired, exhausted, and far too weak to be standing. He turned, almost a stumble, and saw the full weight of his actions reflected in his wife's face. They buckled his knees and sent him to the floor, pain shooting up through his thighs at the impact, but pain he relished and accepted as a partial payment for the pain he had caused, the pain he saw clouding those brown eyes he had so many times lost himself in.

Finally she looked up and focused those eyes on his. It was then that he saw that it wasn't pain in her eyes, it was sympathy. Love, remorse, but also great sympathy for her husband and all he must be feeling with his admission. She, like most every other normal being in the Republic had hated Dooku, had wished for his execution since the first day his name appeared in their daily news. Had even, in a secret part of herself, wished to be the one to carry out the sentence. It was not his death that caused her pain, it was the guilt and shame she saw in her husband. She slid off the couch to kneel before him, taking his head in her hands and bringing it to rest comfortingly on her shoulder. She felt him shake beneath her with sobs, felt the dampness of his tears soaking her shirt, felt his hot breath against her neck. She stroked his hair soothingly.

"Anakin," she whispered softly, her breath caressing his ear, "I love you. No matter what, I will always love you." She kissed him, and then again more deeply. He returned them gratefully, drinking her in, forgiving himself even as she forgave him. At that moment, he decided he didn't care what the Jedi may learn from the Chancellor, no matter how good his intentions were. He didn't care about who or what might come after him; on the contrary, now that he could think straight again he realized that if no one _knew_ where they went, surely their enemies wouldn't find them!

And failing that, he still had his lightsaber. They wouldn't be caught defenseless; not _his_ family!

Padmé led her husband to their bedroom where they spent their last night together in her posh 500 Republica Apartment in the heart of Galactic City, Coruscant. Later that night, however, as his wife slept soundly in his arms, Anakin lay awake, thinking about all that had happened that day. He thought of his talk with Palpatine and with Padmé. Telling her had alleviated much of his guilt, but there was still one other he felt he was answerable to.

He was sleeping when he arrived. He had seen this apartment dozens of times, even lived in it for over twelve years, but for some reason it felt different tonight. He felt almost as if he were intruding. He moved like a ghost through the living quarters and into the bedroom, across from the door that had led to his own. Swiftly and silently, he closed the door behind him.

The window was open, and a slight breeze fluttered the sheet covering his Master as he slept. Anakin had always thought him beautiful in his sleep, a pure beauty that suggested a deeper purity of spirit within. Anakin glided over to kneel before his sleeping Master, lost in his sea of dreams. There, he confessed everything, lay all his deeds at the feet of his beloved friend and mentor – the Tuskans, Dooku, all his secret hates and loves and hurts, all were revealed to the man who slept soundly before him.

Forget the training, the Padewan braid, the trials – tonight he truly felt the Knight they had called him. Tonight he truly felt like a _Jedi_.

"All you had to do was forgive yourself," Obi-Wan's gentle whisper startled him. He opened his eyes and fixed them on those of his former student. "You have never disappointed me, Anakin," he said. "_Ever._"

They left that morning, and they told no one.

Anakin piloted the ship out of Coruscant's glittering atmosphere, and both passengers craned their necks to get one last look at the planet they had called home for years. As the last layers of the thermosphere broke above the hull of their sleek Nubian Cruiser, Anakin reached over to cover his wife's trembling hand with his. She looked over at him and their eyes locked, joy mingling with sorrow between them as the ship readied itself to make its series of hyperspace jumps. Anakin had programmed them specifically so anyone attempting to follow them would become confused by their erratic flight plan.

"We're really doing it," she whispered, a tiny gem tumbling down her cheek to land on the fabric of her dress. Anakin leaned over to wipe away it's glistening wet trail.

"It doesn't mean we'll never see them again," he said soothingly. "We still know where they are, they just don't know where we are. We can visit them at any time." She nodded, comforted by his words. She turned into his embrace, and he hugged her to his chest just as the ship made its first jump.


	7. Goodbye

**This is not a new chapter**

**This is an announcement for all readers of my active stories that I will no longer be updating on this site, but on my new website (see my profile page for address)**

**After having a story deleted by I have decided that the site is more trouble than it's worth. I am upset about the necessity of this step, but it was a long time coming. **

**I am as now setting up a 'review board' for my website, but until it is up and running, all reviews should be sent to melanye magma. ca **

**Again, thank you for reading my stories, and I hope to see you all at my new site.**

**Sincerely,**

**Melissa, aka**

**MelanyeBaggins**


End file.
